Rated "Why"

“Is that a kid movie, or adult movie?”

This is a question that has been repe-pe-pe-pe-peated for the past month. In fact, Adam’s kindergarten teacher was warmly greeted by him first day of class with this delightful tidbit; “Hi I’m Adam, and when I grow up, mommy says I can watch adult movies!” With a slight snicker on my part, I was quickly reminded of that scene in ‘Kindergarten Cop’, you know the one where the boy informs Ah-nuld his first day of teaching Kindergarten, “boys have a penis and girls have a vagina!” But I digress, allow me to get to the point of what started the whole ‘kids v adults’ convo before not only your mind but entire being has fallen into the gutter!  It went a little something like this: One night, about a month ago, Adam was refusing to become tired and sleepy and was running in circles chasing our golden retriever Sawyer around the house at mach 30, the sugar high minus the sugar, when one of my favorite shows, ‘True Blood" was about to start. (yes, I’m a major Trubie, don’t judge me!) My husband, Michael, finally having enough of his shenanigans, started marching him upstairs, informing him that it was “mommy and daddy time to watch one of our shows” “I can’t watch it?” He stopped, stunned.

“No, but I’ll put a kids movie on for you.”

“What are you going to watch?” Adam inquired.

“Mommy and I are going to watch a grown up show”

Michael tucked him into bed and put one of his G rated flicks on for him. Adam, still not satisfied and still confused asked, “So when I’m an adult, I can watch grown up movies? And because I’m a kid now I watch kid movies? Why?”

“Well, grown up movies sometimes have bad words and scary scenes and other things kids can’t understand yet.”

“And kid movies don’t?”

“That’s right. Goodnight.”

You would think an explanation and a kiss would do it, but no. I forget how inquisitive they are at this age, having witnessed several nephews and nieces grow up. But Adam would take the whole ‘kids v adults’ thing to a new level. Soon it became an obsession.

“Is this an adult commercial, or a kid commercial”

Me: No honey, it’s not a GROWN UP commercial." (trying to instill that word instead)

“Is this adult food or kid food”

Me: No honey, this isn’t GROWN UP food. (still trying)

On the radio, "Is this a kid song or adult song?”

Me:  "No honey, it’s not a GROWN UP song, you can listen to it." (you get the picture).

Recently, on a rare clear sunny fall day, I decided to take Adam kayaking to the nearby lake for perhaps the final time of the season. The inevitable question came up.

“Is this a kid’s adventure, or adult adventure?” he asked as we schlepped towards the boat launch. My answer was simply “Yes.”


No children were harmed in the writing of this blog...