I've always invisioned this moment, alongside the eventual birds and bees colloquy, the first love and heartbreak tete-a-tete, the holy shit he's sixteen and old enough to drive fiasco. That grandoise moment of being a parent in charge, teaching this young impressionable mind right from wrong, as they look up at you with wonder and amazement as you explain life, they, bright eyed and awe-inspired with that, "wow my mom/dad is so smart!" look on their face, responding after your spiel, "ok momma/daddy".
You think it's going to go that way. It's simple; don't talk to strangers. period. Don't get into strange cars, take that yummy piece of sour patch gummies from a strange person, or listen to a stranger that says something along the lines of, "Hey your mom told me to come and get you because..." Never, ever, ever, ever do any of the above. If you see someone freaky-deaky watching kids at the fence at recess, tell one of the adults in charge out there. Only go with people you know, and only if I tell you that day it's okay, such as "If I am not at the bus stop for whatever reason, so and so will take you home."
You don't factor in the "but why's" and "why not's" and "huh?" (a favorite of Adam's)
And of course, in the middle of my semi-lecture on the not so niceties of strangers, Adam interrupts with one of his gems:
"If someone tries to take me, I'll just PUNCH THEM IN THE HEART!" He then proceeds to seriously demonstrate the art of heart punching in the air to me against an imaginary stranger, whilst grimacing his notorious "stink face". (see picture at bottom of blog.) He continues to exhibit other points on said non-existant bad guy of where he plans to bring on the hurt, in the event he ever (hopefully never, ever, ever) encounters a potential evil-doer.
Yup, I think he's watched Transformers and Iron Man one too many times, as his moves mimic an incognito Tony Stark and Optimus Prime. But, then again, the kid's got moxie! I think he's ready for the karate lessons he's been harping me about.
And on a serious note, we do need to re-visit the whole "stranger danger" talk again tomorrow, being that a strange man in a white van has been lurking around a local elementary and middle school this past week, trying to lure kids walking to school into his van, claiming he just dropped off his kid and doesn't want them to be late. Scary stuff :(
No children were harmed in the writing of this blog...
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